Khmer Magazines 2018



The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?" "Sam," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."

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I heard that if you play the Windows NT 4.0 CD backwards, you'll get a satanic message. But the most frightening thing is that if you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!

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Twenty-four hours in a day... twenty-four beers in a case... coincidence?

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Making Snacks by San Widge

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Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft.

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Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

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What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep.

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Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years? A: Peat!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Amber ! Amber who ? Amber-sting to come in !

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"I'll have to report you, sir," said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour." "Nonsense, officer," declared the driver. "I've only been in the car for ten minutes."

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Why did the python do national service ? He was coiled up !

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Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

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How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!

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Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

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What is a witch's favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!

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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!

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Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw ? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?

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What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!

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A wildlife biologist crew leader has several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews camped and worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair every few days. One particular crew, Sarah and Jim, were not getting nearly as much work accomplished as the others, so he suspected that they might be up to some funny business. The following day, he paid them a visit. "Is anything funny going on here"? he asked. "What do you mean by that?" the pair asked back. "I mean, you're not getting much fieldwork done. Are you two, you know, maybe doing something you're not supposed to do?" "Absolutely not!" the Jim replied. " We are strictly co-workers" "Oh yes," the Sarah replied, " We hike all day, record our data, return back, and fall asleep exhausted. "That's right!" Jim replied, "and me in my tent, and she in hers!" The crew supervisor spent the remainder of the day in th e field with the pair. He left the field early, returned to camp, retrieved his Jeep and left the area. The following day, the biologist pair had lost their $1000 GPS unit. They searched high and low, but could not find it. It had simply disappeared from their camp. After a few frantic days, they suspected that the crew leader had taken it. It was the only plausible explanation. That evening, they called him on the 2-way radio, and politely asked weather he may have inadvertently taken the unit. "As a matter of fact, I did take it the day I came up to see if you two were sleeping together. After realizing I had accidentally taken it with me from the field, I placed it in Sarah's sleeping bag where she would be sure to find it!"

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Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.' Ghost: Why don't you take a train? Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

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What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !

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Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions. Pupil: It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers.

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Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, "lawyer" is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is "dog." The second is "snake." And under snake, the encyclopedia says "See Lawyer."

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Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. "Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves." The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!" So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"

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A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness". Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

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