Khmer Magazines 2018



What do you call an overweight ET ? An extra cholesterol !

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Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

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A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the man said and hung up.

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A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'

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Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.

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The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting.' Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job, figuring if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. In his first week, the deaf collector picks up more than $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money, and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia boss soon realizes the collection is late and sends some of his thugs after the deaf collector. The thugs drag the guy to an interpreter. The right-hand man says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf collector signs, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the main man, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking abo ut." The main man pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf collector signs, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park just east of the big fountain." The interpreter's eyes light up, and he says to the thug, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."

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Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

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Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.

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How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!

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Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Button ! Button who ? Button in is not polite !

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Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree. Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices. Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.

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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

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Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

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Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

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The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss

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This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!

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A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

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What did the dog do when the panhandler put the bite on him? Bit him, naturally.

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What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ? A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

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What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !

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A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

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How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them."

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Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in the world? King Pong.

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