Khmer Magazines 2018



Two elephants jumped off a cliff....... BOOM BOOM!

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What is even bigger than an elephant ? A giant !

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What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack your trunk and clear out !"

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A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary." When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

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Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.

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The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."

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What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

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What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !

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Who do elephants get their christmas presents from ? Elephanta Claus !

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How do you know that peanuts are fattening ? Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?

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What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia

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An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation. "It was late at night'" says the pilot, "Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings." "I'm sorry," says the auditor, "but you'll have to bear the cost yourself." "The cost of what?" asks the pilot. "Of the bearings you lost."

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If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? "Darling, could you tell me about your work."

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I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

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How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...

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Once a man went to a resturant and ordered an egg. When it was brought he didn't liked it so he informed the waiter that the egg was bad. Came the reply: "I don't lay egg sir I just lay table !"

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Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant ?" Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose !"

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

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What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !

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Eulus stood in front of the take-out window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. "I want two hamburgers," he said. "One with onions, and one without." The counter man: "Okay. Which one's without the onions?"

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It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."

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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

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Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work

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A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?" The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."

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What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ? Antteneye !

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