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Khmer Magazines 2016



Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant's milk. Whose baby was it? The elephant's!

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Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin' ta night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?" "Uh huh," answered Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican baby, and we wanna be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta talk!"

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Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn't push the pram - she pulled it.

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What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.

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A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it."

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Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven? Yes, that's right. Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.

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Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "

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A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded. "I'm just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy. "Where is the baby?" asked his Mum. "Under the bath."

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Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That's funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!

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Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into.

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What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !

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Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).

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Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby.

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Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.

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What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !

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Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough.

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How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.

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Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib? Daughter: You told me to change the baby.

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Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves.

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What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

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A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther down the road a family of skunks were walking the other way when the same 18-wheeler ran over all but one baby. The duck and the skunk finally met each other and the duck said, "Excuse me, my mom died down the road. Would you tell me what I am?" "Well", said the skunk "You have webbed feet, a beak, and feathers. You must be a duck." "Thanks" said the duck; then the skunk said, "My mom died down the road too, will you tell me what I am?" "Well", said the duck, "Your black, your white, & your mom's dead, you must be O.J.'s kid"

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What are baby witches called? Halloweenies.

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When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?

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Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

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