Khmer Magazines 2017



Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!

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Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, 'I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula' last night.' 'Oh yeah,' said the other, ' what was she like ?' 'Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.' The other said, 'Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like ?'

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They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean she's escaped from the funny farm?

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My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.

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Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? No one.

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She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time.

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First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an estimate.

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I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!

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Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear. 'Johnny, how many times have I told you,' said his mother, ' it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.' 'OK, said Johnny, 'why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch ?'

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What did the really ugly man do for a living ? He posed for Halloween masks !

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A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. "Nothing," replied the assistant. "Nothing?" she asked, "but how can I look like a film star?" "Haven't you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon?" replied the assistant.

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Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty ? Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink '!

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Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.

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She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.

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My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful Well they do say that love is blind !

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Girlfriend: Will you love me when I'm old and fat and ugly? Boyfriend: Of course I do !

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Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!

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I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

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What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

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I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy !

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What is yellow and goes click-click? A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older? Wizard: With luck, yes. Witch:

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Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world What was I wearing ?

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A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head. "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I've no idea what it is." The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. "I'm stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these pills." When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. "Ah!" said the doctor, "I know what it is. You've got a beauty spot."

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"My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!"said Miss Conceited. ''Then he's right said her little brother.''Sophia Loren?'' "No-spaghetti!''

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I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.

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