Khmer Magazines 2018



Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

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How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.

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What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A pecking order.

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Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am.

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Why don't chickens like people ? They beat eggs !

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What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ? She kicked the bucket !

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Why does a rooster watch TV ? For hentertainment !

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What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock? Politics

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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

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How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks? Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.

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How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent? It speaks in Polly-syllables!

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David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. If he shook the bird, the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: "I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions, so I ask for your forgiven ess. I will try to correct my behavior." David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did?"

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Why did the chicken end up in the soup ? Because it ran out of cluck !

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What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon .

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Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? "He wanted to be a hentertainer."

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What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !

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Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done.

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Which bird is always out of breath ? A puffin !

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Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.

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Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !

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What did the rich socialite's parrot say? Polly want a cracker, with cavier please!

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Two owls were playing pool. One said, "Two hits." The other replied, "Two hits to who?"

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Where do the cleverest parrots live? In the brain tree forests!

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What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !

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What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ? "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"

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