Khmer Magazines 2017



A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.

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"Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"

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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

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What did you get for your birthday? Another year!

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"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."

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What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!

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Sam's girlfriend's birthday was the same day as his father's. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, 'Use this all over yourself and think of me.' Unfortunately he put the note on his father's present.

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Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

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Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!

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Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.

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"I guess I didn't get my birthday wish." "How do you know?" "You're still here!"

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I forgot my brother's birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.

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Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!

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Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what ? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I've got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.

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Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

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Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

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Home - A - Age Jokes "That's an excellent essay for someone your age," said the English teacher. "How about for someone my Mum's age, Miss?" "Welcome to school, Simon," said the nursery school teacher to the new boy. "How old are you?" "I'm not old," said Simon. "I'm nearly new." Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school magazine. "How old are you, ma'am?" asked Fred. "I'm not going to tell you that," she replied. "But Mr Hill the technical teacher and Mr Hill the geography teacher told me how old they were." "Oh well," said Miss Jones. "I'm the same age as both of them." The poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote: Miss Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as the Hills. "Now remember, boys and girls," said the science teacher, "you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year." Fred went home for tea and found a chocolate roll on the table. "I'm not eating that, Mum!" she said. "It's five years old." Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Fred. When I was your age I ate every one. Fred: Do you still like crusts, Grandma? Grandma: Yes, I do. Fred: Well, you can have mine. How old is your wife? Approaching forty. From which direction? An eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was correct that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday. `That's right,' said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I haven't an enemy in the world. They're all dead.' `Well, sir,' said the interviewer, `I hope very much to have the honour of interviewing you on your hundredth birthday.' The old man looked at the young man closely, and said, `I can't see why you shouldn't. You look fit and healthy to me!'

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What did one candle say to the other? "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

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When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!

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Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!

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What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday? "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

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Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

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What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!

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Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!

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Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!

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