Khmer Magazines 2018



"This birthday cake certainly is crunchy." "Maybe you should spit out the plate!"

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How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don't think that's possible. Oh, yes it is - I'm nine today.

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"I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you." "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?" "That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"

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What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!

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What did the birthday balloon say to the pin? "Hi, Buster."

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What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!

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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

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Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!

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Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!

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Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!

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A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. 'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'

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What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!

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"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade."

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"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."

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Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

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What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.

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Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. "I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted." "Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?" "Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!"

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Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

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"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time, take off the candles."

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Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

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It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years." "How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked. "It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."

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Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside-down cake!

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I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

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What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

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Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!

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