Khmer Magazines 2018



What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!

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"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade."

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"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."

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What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!

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Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

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What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.

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Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. "I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted." "Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?" "Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!"

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Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

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"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time, take off the candles."

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Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

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It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years." "How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked. "It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."

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Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside-down cake!

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I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

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What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

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Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!

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Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!

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Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

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A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.

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"Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"

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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

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What did you get for your birthday? Another year!

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What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!

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Sam's girlfriend's birthday was the same day as his father's. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, 'Use this all over yourself and think of me.' Unfortunately he put the note on his father's present.

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Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

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Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!

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