Khmer Magazines 2018



How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

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Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'

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"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade."

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Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!

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The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."

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First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.

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"This birthday cake certainly is crunchy." "Maybe you should spit out the plate!"

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How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don't think that's possible. Oh, yes it is - I'm nine today.

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"I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you." "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?" "That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"

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What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!

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What did the birthday balloon say to the pin? "Hi, Buster."

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What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!

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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

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Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!

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Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!

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Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!

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A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. 'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'

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What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!

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"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."

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Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

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What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.

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Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. "I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted." "Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?" "Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!"

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Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

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"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." "Next time, take off the candles."

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Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

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