Khmer Magazines 2018



What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

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Why is an old car like a baby playing? Because it goes with a rattle.

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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.

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A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. In fact i hate hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on Along the way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty son of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the hit and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests yells,"Don't worry i got him with the gas can!"

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WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."

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Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.

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What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? "Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."

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Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.' Ghost: Why don't you take a train? Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

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Why did the man put his car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod.

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What is a banged-up used car? A car in first-crash condition.

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Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown.

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Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

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Q: What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Don't look I'm changing!!

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A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!

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A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

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Which snakes are found on cars? Windscreen vipers.

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Policeman: I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't speeding. Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.

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A motorist ran into a shop. "Do you own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the manager. "Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a nun."

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

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Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving habits, offers the following advice: The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one's exposure. One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds are caused by non-drunk drivers. Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.

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A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, the next day in the meeting, his first point towards improvement of railway department was: "There should not be last coach in any train."

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What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver? A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that toffee" and a train says, "Choo, choo."

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What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ? A laplander !

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Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.

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