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Khmer Magazines 2016



Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

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Policeman: Why were you speeding when I stopped you? Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

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What is an autograph? A chart which shows car sales.

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One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

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What did the jack say to the car? "Can I give you a lift?"

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Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel? Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

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Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. 'Oh, Gladys,' said her friend, 'you've lost your engine!' 'Never mind dear,' said auntie. 'I've got a spare one in the trunk.'

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Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along? They only run a skeleton service.

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Policeman: Why were you speeding? Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.

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Why did the man put his car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod.

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What is the meaning of afford? It's the car most sales representatives drive.

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A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. "Don't know," the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U- turn and drove up to them. "This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either."

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A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. In fact i hate hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on Along the way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty son of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the hit and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests yells,"Don't worry i got him with the gas can!"

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What kind of ears do trains have? Engineers (engine ears).

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A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?". The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol." So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?" And the attendant responds"Sorry, but no oil either." The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that. The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?" The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front." The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tyres !"

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a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says "alright John, how you getting on today?"

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What did the man put on his car when the weather was cold? An extra muffler.

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What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? "Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."

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On Fred's 17th birthday, his Dad said he'd take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, "Just one thing, Fred. If you're going to hit anything, make sure it's cheap."

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Policeman: Why did your car just spin around in circles? Motorist: I was making a U-turn and changed my mind.

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Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers.

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What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.

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Policeman: I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't speeding. Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.

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Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

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