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Khmer Magazines 2016



What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

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Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!

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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

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Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis.

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What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phantomime !

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Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!

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Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny. Elf: That's Little Red Robin Hood'!

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What's the most popular wine at Christmas? "I don't like sprouts!"

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What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold.

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What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ? My pop is bigger than yours !

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What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!

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A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

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Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour, of course.

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Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?

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Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl. 'You're getting your Christmas present a week early this year,' her mother explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. 'Is that what you want?' The little girl said, 'It's wonderful, mother...just what I wanted. There's just one thing wrong!' 'What's that?' her mother asked. 'Well, it has a cute little claw on the outside of every paw and another little claw on the inside of every paw - but the poor little thing has no claws at all in the middle of its paws!' Her mother smiled. 'Don't worry, Kitty. When you wake up on Christmas morning you'll find the claws are there.' Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worrie d about the claws in the middle of its paws. The days passed and there wasn't even a hint, a clue or an inkling of claws in the middle of its paws. When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still no sign, Kitty went to her mother and asked again, 'Are you absolutely sure that the kitten will have its middle claws tomorrow? There's only a few hours to go and there's not a hint or clue or an inkling as to claws as far as I can see.' 'Wait till you wake up on Christmas morning,' her mother smiled and went on stuffing the turkey. So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl. When she woke up on Christmas morning she ignored the presents in her stocking and rushed downstairs to look at her little kitten. She was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as if by magic. Kitty rushed to her parent's bedroom. 'Mummy , Mummy! The kitten has grown its middle claws!' 'Of course it has,' her mother grinned. 'But how did you know?' Kitty demanded. Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed, 'Oh, Kitty, everybody knows that Centre-claws always comes at Christmas!'

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How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ? Chick to chick !

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My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it! Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.

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How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !

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What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia !

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What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It was wound up already.

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What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ? Santa pause !

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Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!

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What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes !

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What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ? Fancy a bite ?

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Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

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