Khmer Magazines 2018



Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you??!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have you got to say???" There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

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Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"? A: "Trust me."

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Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.

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Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely? A: Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes President!

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Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.

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Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.

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Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.

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Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

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Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"

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Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one.

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Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

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In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"

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During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I be acquitted?"

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How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school.

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Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.

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Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.

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Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

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Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.

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Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

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Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.

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Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army.

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Q: If Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized, who would be saved? A: The United States of America!

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Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: "You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!

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Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: They've been having turkey for years.

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Q: What do Clinton and JFK have in common? A: They haven't had any brains for the last thirty years.

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