Khmer Magazines 2018



Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright.

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Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.

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A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

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President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.

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Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.

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Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

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Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture.

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Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

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Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?

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Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he's sworn in.

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Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar. Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene.

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Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you??!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have you got to say???" There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

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Q: What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect? A: Everything's $100.

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Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.

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Q: Why is Bill Clinton's economic plan called positively atheist? A: Because it hasn't got a prayer.

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Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

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Q: What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth? A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics, how to ruin the people!

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Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"? A: "Trust me."

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Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.

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Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely? A: Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes President!

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Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.

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Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.

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Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.

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Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

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Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"

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