Khmer Magazines 2017



Three students from Michigan State, the University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were caught smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The judge turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, "Do you have any final words, son?" "Yeah, drop dead!" snapped the Wolverine. Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried out. The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in astonishment, the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches from the victim's throat. "It's God's will! Let him go!" cried the judge. Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on the block, and the judge asked again, "And what are your final remarks, my boy?" "Go to hell!" shouted the student, and the judge signaled. The razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just a quarter inch from the condemned boy's neck. "It's the wi ll of God!" exclaimed the judge. "Set him free!" Finally the Texan was put into position. "Before you're beheaded," said the judge, "do you have any last words?" "Yeh!" replied the Aggie. "If y'all will just put a little more grease on them grooves, the blade'll come down a whole lot easier!"

Read more!

What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? "Nowledge."

Read more!

What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape.

Read more!

Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.

Read more!

Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds. "Would you like to become a Jehovah's Witness?" asked one of the girls. "No, I really couldn't. I didn't see the accident."

Read more!

A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new. "An old flame? I asked. He winked and said, "More like an unlit match."

Read more!

"Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?" "Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around."

Read more!

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss. After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam. A Boston brokerage house advertised for a "young Harvard graduate or the equivalent." Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, "Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?"

Read more!

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?

Read more!

Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. "I'd like the bathroom done in white!" Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, "Green up! Green up!" "I want the bedroom in blue!" continued the woman. The contractor listened and yelled out the window, "Green up! Green up!" "The halls should be done in beige!" she instructed. Again, the man barked out the window, "Green up! Green up!" "Will you stop that?!" shouted the woman. "Every time I give you a color, all you do is shout 'Green up!' What the devil does that mean?" 'Tm real sorry, ma'am!" explained Corbett. "But I got three Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin' to put in the front lawn!"

Read more!

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !

Read more!

On what kind of ships do students study? Scholarships.

Read more!

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Read more!

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands? A dope ring.

Read more!

Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?

Read more!

All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, "Anybody there?" "No," said the burglar. "That's funny," the boy said to himself. "I could have sworn I heard a noise!"

Read more!

Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Professor Yes, but I thought it was mine!

Read more!

What's the difference between an American student and an English student ? About 3000 miles !

Read more!

Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work would supply mem with big bucks after graduation. "Well, I've always thought I'd like to be a doctor," said Higginbote. "Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe." "Obstetrics?" scoffed Goldstein. "At the rate science is going, you'd no sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody'd find a cure for it."

Read more!

Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.

Read more!

Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.

Read more!

Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles? They can't get their heads in the jar.

Read more!

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, her husband asked, "Well how much did you give the boy his time?" She said, "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him." "That's $1020!" yelled her husband. Are you crazy?" "Don't worry, Hon," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"

Read more!

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning? By opening the car door.

Read more!

Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

Read more!