Khmer Magazines 2018



A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world." The civil engineer interrupted and said "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world." The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?

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Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.

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A tech support employee once received a call from a disgruntled lady who had purchase one of their PCs. "The cup holder on my computer broke! I just got some coffee and put it in the cup holder and then it broke, and the coffee spilled all over me! I want a replacement!" The employee was a little confused and didn't know what to say. He finally asked her to describe the cup holder to him...he'd never heard of his company selling in-computer cup holders. So the lady went on to describe the cup holder to him. "Well, it pops out of the little box when I push a button, and it has 40x written on it..."

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A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife.

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What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer? PC Plod.

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Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."

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I've been on my computer all night! Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?

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Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white....

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Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer? He wanted to have webbed feet.

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What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night? No wonder you called the company Microsoft

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Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!

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This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free. It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!

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A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the "send" key.

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An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it." About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.

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This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?"

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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a laptop computer. You're just run down, let me give you some vitamins. No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.

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What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something.

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Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.

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Student: "Would it be possible to install Arabic language support on those computers?" Computer Teacher: "In order to use Arabic language in Windows, you must install an Arabic graphic card. So I don't think we could do that."

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Customer: "Wait, that password looks really gray. I'm going to type it in again."

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Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?" Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think I've got the wrong software installed in my computer." Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?" Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded with software called the 'XYZ Desktop'." Tech Support: "Yes...?" Customer: "Shouldn't it be called the 'XYZ Minitower'? I OBVIOUSLY have the wrong software installed in this computer."

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Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses "windows".

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What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!

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Q: What happens if you cross a midget and a computer? A: You get a short circut.

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While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said "File not found". I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, "Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat." I said type this in "type autoexec.bat". Again he got "File not found". I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed. He said, "I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat'.

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