Khmer Magazines 2017



A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning." "Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"

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I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake? No!

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Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out.

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t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

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Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.

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A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"

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Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank.

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What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party.

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What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ? Robbery with violets !

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If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have? Organised grime (crime).

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Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."

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'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why ?' 'I've put a file in your cake.'

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Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out.

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Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

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Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.

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Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.

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When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels. The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals.

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What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people, the other peals, from the steeple.

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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

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What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery.

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A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly. "we're going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are eve rywhere."

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars don't knock !

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What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies ? Baddy long legs !

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How do bank robbers send messages? By flee mail!

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When did the criminal get smart? When the judge threw the book at him.

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