Khmer Magazines 2017



Who is the strongest thief? A shoplifter.

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What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars don't knock !

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What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals? F.B.I.

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'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why ?' 'I've put a file in your cake.'

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An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?" "Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped , "No! We think you are trying to escape!"

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Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank.

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Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall, and the other green and yellow and 2ft Gin tall. The police are searching high and low for them.

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A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning." "Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"

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I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake? No!

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Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out.

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t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

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Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.

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A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"

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What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ? Robbery with violets !

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If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have? Organised grime (crime).

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Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."

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Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out.

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Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

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Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.

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Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.

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When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels. The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals.

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What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people, the other peals, from the steeple.

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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

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What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery.

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