Khmer Magazines 2018



A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue." The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave." Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. "Take her to Turning Walter!"

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The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Nice pigs, sir". The president replied, "These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs. I got one for Hillary and I got one for Chelsea." The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, sir."

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Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates." The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we."

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Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky.

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What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!

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Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice.

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A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no," you're gripping the club way too hard!" "Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway.The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard." "What can I do?" asks the wife."Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis." The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway . . . about 15 ft. "That was great,"the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing the club like you're supposed to!" says the pro.

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Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.

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Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?" ! Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

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Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!

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A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck' to a halt inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed: "What the hell's the matter with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You could have been killed!" The man replied nonchalantly: "Listen, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes."

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Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

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Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How much for a blow job ?". "Hundred Bucks". "OK", he said and began to jerk off. "What the hell are you doing that for?" "For hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy one, do you ?"

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Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.

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Question: Why do men always give their penis a name? Answer: Because they don't want a stranger making 95 percent of their decisions for them.

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Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde? A: She screams her own name when she comes.

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Q: What's the ultimate embarrassment for a blonde? A: When her ben-wa balls set off the airport metal detector.

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Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? "It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night."

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The blonde was at the blood bank and sold a pint of blood. As she was leaving counting her $25, a man was leaving counting his money. He had $40. She asked if he had some rare blood type that he got more than she did. He said no, that he had donated sperm. The next day the bimbo was back at the blood bank. The receptionist asked if she was there to donate blood. The blonde could only shake her head, as her cheeks were bulging.

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What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can't eat it.

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A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam." The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough." She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough." She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

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Q: What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? A: a $20 bill

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While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine. Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"

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