Khmer Magazines 2018



Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then ? Well, I saw this light at the window...!

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A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

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"Doctor, doctor!" said the panic-stricken woman, "my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he's swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?" "Quite simple," said the doctor calmly. "You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of string and lower it into your husband's mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite haul it out." "Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I'll go around to the fishmonger straight away and get a cod's head." "What do you want a cod's head for?" "Oh- I forgot to tell you. I've got to get the cat out first!"

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later.

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How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility? She's the one with dirty knees.

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Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.

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Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?

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Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in What about a matchbox!

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How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell? Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!

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Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar ! Have you taken anything for it ?

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The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the nurse practitioner learned he was about to marry an eighteen year old girl. "Now, Mr. Jenkins," the nurse practitioner warned, "you should know that when a man your age marries an eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt." The old man shrugged, "If she dies, she dies."

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Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double. Please sit on the couch. Which one!

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A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead. "Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor. "Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!" At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead. "Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?" "Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse. Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. "Nurse," asks the doctor, "did you prick his boil?" "OH MY GOODNESS!" replies the nurse.

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Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up! Just simmer down!

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Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps!

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Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog What's wrong with that I think I'm going to croak

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Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work? A: In case they have to draw blood.

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What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.

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Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen Well sit down and write your name!

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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eel That's shocking!

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Doctor, Doctor I've a split personality Well, you'd better both sit down then!

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!

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