Khmer Magazines 2018



An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."

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Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

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There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn't measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, "we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long".

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A French guy, an American guy and a Cuban guy are standing on a cliff. The French guy throws a case of fine wine off the cliff. ''Why did you do that?''asked the other men. ''We have plenty of fine wine in France,'' said the man. Next, the Cuban guy throws a box of fine cigars off the cliff. ''Why did you do that?'' asked the other men. ''We have plenty of cigars in Cuba,'' said the Cuban man. Finally, the American man pickes up the Cuban man and throw' him off the cliff. ''What did you do that for?'' asked the French man. ''We have plenty of Cubans in America,'' answered the American man.

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Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? A: That's a military secret.

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Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

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What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."

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Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years? A: Peat!!!

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Q: What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union? A: Every man for himself.

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Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years? A: Somebody dropped a shekel.

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Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

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A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. ''Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease,'' says the waiter. The Texan says, ''What's a shortage?'' The Russian says, ''What's a steak?'' The New Yorker says, ''What's excuse me?''

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Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong? -The Aggie drove through a car wash

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How do we know that Joan of Arc was French ? She was maid in France !

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Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chin ese Jews."

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Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two to squabble over who gets to eat the packaging.

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Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road? A: He saw some American do it on TV.

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Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery? 3 dollars a year for a million years.

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Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network. Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 h years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.

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How do you play Iraqi bingo? F18...B52...F18

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Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache? A: So he could look like his mama.

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Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser." "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that." Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off...watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!" "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that." Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!" The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped hi m on the shoulder and said, "I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!" "Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."

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A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to know in order to be all right in the city: The White man says these words are: green, pink, and yellow. Then the White man says ''Now tell me a sentence using all three words.'' The Mexican says ''I hear de telephona ah greena greena, I pink up de phona and say ah yellow?"

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What is the Cuban national anthem? ''Row Your Boat!''

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What language do they speak in Cuba ? Cubic !

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