Khmer Magazines 2018



Knock Knock Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ? Beef fair now !

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An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area." "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

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Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

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What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'

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Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!

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What musical instrument goes with cheese? Picklelo.

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Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water? A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!

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Camper: There's something wrong with my hot dog. Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian.

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An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area." "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

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A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. 'Would you like a cherry on the top ?' asked the waitress. 'No, thanks,' said the girl, 'I'm on a diet !'

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A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

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Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods? One was "a-salted."

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What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.

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Q. What did the salt say to the pepper? A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!

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Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

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Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.

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When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he become? Lone Lee.

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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

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What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun.

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The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."

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What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek.

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What looks just like half a loaf of bread? Its other half.

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What's a doll's favorite food? Barbie-Q!

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Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.

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