Khmer Magazines 2017



What ghost is handy in the kitchen? A recipe spook.

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What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer.

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What sort of soup do skeletons like? One with plenty of body in it.

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What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.

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Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin? No more, mom. It's empty.

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What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun.

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Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.

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Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.

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Q: What did one strawberry say to the other? A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"

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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'

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WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?

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Q. What did the salt say to the pepper? A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!

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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

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What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg? First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

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Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear.

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Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves.

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A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."

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An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, "I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest you check your scales." The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, "Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son."

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What's red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch.

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What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? "He's a real fun guy [fungi]."

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What's the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

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First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.

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Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!

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Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun? Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

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