Khmer Magazines 2018



Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

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A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads, "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there nare still two floors left, they continue on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

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Insurance agent to would-be client: "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.

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Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?

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What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Close the door.

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One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. "What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked. "It's a thermos," Mikey replied. "What does it do?" they asked. "Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." "What do ya got in it?" To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

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Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

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Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

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Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"

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Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

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There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving. They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.

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Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

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At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle!"

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Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!

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Q: Why do men float better than women? A: Because they are scum.

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Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman? A: Desperate!

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Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

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Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds.

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A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied: "Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I'm not eating is when I'm sleeping!"

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An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

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Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

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Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

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Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'"

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QUESTION: Why are lifesavers better than men? ANSWER: They come in five flavors.

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Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

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