Khmer Magazines 2018



Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first.

Read more!

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun? A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times.

Read more!

A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead. The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist. She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like to hear you say it."

Read more!

Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

Read more!

Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording? A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Read more!

Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice.

Read more!

Q. What's the definition of a quarter tone? A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.

Read more!

Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.

Read more!

Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"

Read more!

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them.

Read more!

Q: What's the range of an accordion? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

Read more!

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

Read more!

Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.

Read more!

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

Read more!

Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Read more!

Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Read more!

Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

Read more!

Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager.

Read more!

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case.

Read more!

Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

Read more!

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.

Read more!

Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"

Read more!

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving.

Read more!

Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a whole note with "solo" above it.

Read more!

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds.

Read more!