Khmer Magazines 2018



A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down." The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"

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How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs

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Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.

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Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn!

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Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards? A: You get your job and your wife back.

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Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

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"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

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Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

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Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip.

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Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords.

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Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: That's the banjo player's porsche.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bassoon ! Bassoon who ? Bassoon things will be better !

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A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead. The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist. She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like to hear you say it."

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Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.

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Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.

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Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them.

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Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ? A: They never know when to come in.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bach ! Bach who ? Bach to work!

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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

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Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?" Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!" Abe says, "So what's the bad news?" Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"

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When is the water in the shower room musical? When it's piping hot.

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Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones? A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

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Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

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Q: How can you tell someone is a true music lover? A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.

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