Khmer Magazines 2018



When is a parent like a child? When he's a miner.

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Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No, I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself.

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Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups.

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Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m.. Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.

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Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, "Now, remember, son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything."

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Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.

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"Dad," said Rickey, "what is electricity?" "Uh," replied his father, "I don't really know too much about electricity." A few minutes later the boy said, "How does gas make the engine go?" "Son, I'm afraid I don't know much about motors." "Dad," said the boy, "what is anthropology?" "Anthropology?" The father frowned. "I really don't know." "Gee, Dad, I guess I'm making a nuisance of myself." "Not at all, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything."

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At dinner, Seth said to his father, "Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it's all your fault." "How's that?" asked the master of the house. "Remember I asked you how much $500,000 was?" "Yeah, I remember." "Well, 'a helluva lot' ain't the right answer."

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What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has? Parents.

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Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom. "Mr. Talbot," said the teacher, "I asked James 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!" "Well, teacher," said Talbot, "if my kid said he didn't do it he didn't do it!" Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?" '

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A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"

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There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat. Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"

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Father: " I know the answer to your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television." Son: " I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question."

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The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower."

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"Dad, do you believe in Buddha?" "Why, of course, but I think margarine is just as good."

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NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note. His parents immediately sent the kid back with the money.

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The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

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When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: "Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'" One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook???"

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Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. She raced into the kitchen where her husband was making dinner. "Hey!" she announced. "This is terrible! I just caught Matthew lighting a cigar!" "You put a stop to that right now," he shouted. "That kid is altogether too young to be playing with matches!"

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A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long." He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out." The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this ch eck out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap." The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen..." The mother broke in, "My little girl's name is Tammy... I'm Ellen."

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A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"

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Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock." She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!" He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."

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Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father: Ok ask. Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor. Father: !!!??????!!!

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Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage. "Sir," he blurted out, "I have an attachment for your daughter, and " "See here, young man," interrupted the parent, "when my daughter needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."

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What's another name for an parent? Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

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