Khmer Magazines 2017



How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!

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Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"

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When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !

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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!

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What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !

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Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold!

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One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"

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Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.

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What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo!

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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ? A tiger moth !

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What do polar bears have for lunch ? Ice burger !

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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas' sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer! What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.

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What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up? A big stinker!

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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

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What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'

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Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!

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What do you call a show full of lions ? The mane event !

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How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!

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What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse!

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What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time!

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A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".

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Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!

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A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".

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Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ? It lives on ice !

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What should you call a bald teddy ? Fred bear !

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