Khmer Magazines 2017



Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

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Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. "It was the most amazing thing ... it was the most amazing thing." she kept repeating dazedly. "What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers. "I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."

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Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replied, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today."

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Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning

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How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce

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If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.

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How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs

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What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow? -Your pants are on backwards

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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How did the rainbow know is was lost? -It was a clear day

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What is a tornado ? Mother nature doing the twist !

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Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder

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Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.

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Fred: I'm sure I'm right. Betty: You're as right as rain - all wet!

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Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it. The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being, to stop that cold wind. It might've worked, too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough, .but the real problem was that a couple owners of farms on the upper boarder kept leaving their gates open.

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Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

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There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

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What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts

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What game do tornadoes like to play? -Twister

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How is a hailstone like an onion? -They are both whitish and have layers

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There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, "It looks like a storm is coming." "No it isn't," said his wife. "Besides, how would you know?" "Because," he responded, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day? A wet one.

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Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs

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'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?' 'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'

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How can you tell if a tornado is stupid? -If it spins anti-cyclonically

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