Khmer Magazines 2017



A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.

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A Scotsman paying his first visit to a zoo stopped by one of the cages "An' whut animal would that be ?" he asked the keeper. "Thats a moose from Canada", came the reply. "A moose !!", exclaimed the Scotsman. "Hoots, mon, if that's a moose then they must ha' rats the size of elephants over there !"

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A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

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FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla? BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . . BERT: What did you do? FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.

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There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him. The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him. The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "What's going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!" The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now we're going to see a movie."

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"Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?" "What's the matter with you?" asked his father. "Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"

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I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?

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When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!

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Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!

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Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home. "Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

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One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

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Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordan's reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left. "So how was it?" Elaine asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Jordan replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked Elaine. "Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Jordan, excitedly, "especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!"

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Father and son standing outside the elephant's cage in the Moscow Zoo. Father tells son, "If we stand around here long enough, one of them will throw some food at us."

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Come on, Fred, I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

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Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

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I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?

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Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"

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What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn't recognize them!

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Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell me.

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You don't see many reindeer in zoos, do you? No. They can't afford the admission.

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What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film? Stop playing it cagey!

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Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?" "Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

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Sauer and Tolbert went to the zoo and watched in awe as a lion let loose with a spine-tingling roar. "Let's get out of here!" said Sauer. "Go on, if'n you want to," said the other redneck. "But Ah'm stayin' for the whole movie!"

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A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

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My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"

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