Khmer Magazines 2018



Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"? A: "Trust me."

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A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go." "Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, what's your last request?" "That you kill me first."

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They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

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How did the jury find the hamburger? Grill-ty as charred!

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Which baseball team is currently the favourite with hamburger fans? The Cincinnati Reds -because they're the Big Bread Machine!

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What do you get from an invisible cow? Evaporated milk!

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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a moth Get out of the way, your in my light!

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Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years? A: Peat!!!

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Q: Why did the haunted house not like rain? A: Because it dampened his spirits.

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Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.

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A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."

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What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ? A spinning wheel !

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Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King.

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Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail? I don't know but it would slow him down.

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What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark!

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A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."

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Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"? Short John Silver!

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One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

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Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start ? Well first I created the sun, then the earth

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A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

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MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by. "What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon. "Fishin'," said MacAndrews. "Caught anything?" "Ach, nae a bite," "What are ye usin' fer bait?" "Worms" "Let me see it," said O'Bannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out. "Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon. "No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"

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Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.

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When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !

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