Khmer Magazines 2017



What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !

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What happens when sharks take their clothes off ? They go sharkers !

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What is a whale's favorite TV show? Flukes of Hazard!

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Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

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Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?" "Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

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Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine.

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A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.

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Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list.

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During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I be acquitted?"

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Who is the strongest thief? A shoplifter.

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Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

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While participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had her first sexual experience, going to bed with a stunning foreign participant. Upon returning to her hometown, she promptly went to confession. After receiving absolution, the gymnast was so delighted that she did cartwheels down the aisle to the door. Waiting her turn, Old Mrs. Ole said to her friend, "can you believe what Father Johnson is giving for penance? Of all the days for me not to be wearing panties."

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What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket? The Easter Barney!

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What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer.

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Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, lets get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I don't know how about you but I'm going to start nibbling grass."

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I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Catskills ! Catskills who ? Catskills mice !

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"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Brian told his best friend Mike. "Why not add some intrigue to your life, and have an affair?" his friend suggested. "But what if my wife finds out?" "Heck, we are almost on the begining of the 21st centrury, Brian. Go ahead and tell her about it!" So Brian went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that many times - it never worked."

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Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: That's the banjo player's porsche.

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How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion!

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A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"

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Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!

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What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool.

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How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent? It speaks in Polly-syllables!

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How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school.

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