Khmer Magazines 2017



What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!

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Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

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Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don't get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck.

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What sort of soup do skeletons like? One with plenty of body in it.

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A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well, you do look a site

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What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses.

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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

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Where do footballers dance? At a football!

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What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic? Wait for him to give it back.

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Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs? Certainly, Sir! Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!

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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

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Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-square, do your stuff!". T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff!". Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff!". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured ex actly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. The three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?". The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff!". Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.

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What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!

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What dog would you want on your American football team? A golden receiver!

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What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.

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Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Amour ! Amour who? Amour you eat, the more you want !

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"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?" "Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport." The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?" "No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have." "Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds." "Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. "What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?" "Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."

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Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks.

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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle exp lains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142."

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A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two. One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors. One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears--a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his hig h-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, he was plagued by visions of lawsuit from his friend's family. He just had to save his friend. Luckily, the bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"

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Why did the tadpole feel lonely ? Because he was newt to the area !

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What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.

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