Khmer Magazines 2017



What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote? One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!

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What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark!

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What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ? Antteneye !

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lumberjack Barbie ...sleeps all night, works all day

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What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !

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Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars don't knock !

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Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky.

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What is worse than a dog howling at the moon? Two dogs howling at the moon.

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How many Serbs does in take to change a Lighbulb? It doesn't matter..Theres a Blackout!

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A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work. Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand. One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, "Are you the fish friar?" "No, sir," retorted the brother, "I'm the chip monk."

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The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. "I give a thousand dollars!" The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!"

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What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !

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A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?" "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!" The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?" "I found it."

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If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!

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David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. If he shook the bird, the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: "I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions, so I ask for your forgiven ess. I will try to correct my behavior." David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did?"

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Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)

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Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder." "What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light." "What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

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Why did the chicken end up in the soup ? Because it ran out of cluck !

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"Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"

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One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money. She saw some kids playing and thought "Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!" So she creeps up and snatches one. So she began to write a note: "I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10,000$ on the north side of the tree in the park. Signed Blonde." She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10, 000$. But there was a note inside saying: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!"

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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? "Looks like rein dear"

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Who is in cowboy films and is always broke? Skint Eastwood.

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Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A.The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

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What is horse sense? Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!

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