Khmer Magazines 2018



Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons? They outgrew their leotards.

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What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox? If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

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What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails? Yours tin-sincerely.

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Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr... Newfie - I don't care what color they are, just put four budgies in a box for me. Is that too hard? Salesman - O.K. O.K. The two newfies pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this high cliff in Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and pulls out two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff while flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom. The second newfie looks down at his friend's twisted remains and says "What a shame. this budgie jumping isn't all it's cracked up to be!"

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What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Anka ! Anka who ? Anka the ship !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !

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"Dad, do you believe in Buddha?" "Why, of course, but I think margarine is just as good."

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Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake.

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What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !

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Student: "Would it be possible to install Arabic language support on those computers?" Computer Teacher: "In order to use Arabic language in Windows, you must install an Arabic graphic card. So I don't think we could do that."

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Customer: "I've been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically -- but there's a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time." Tech Support: "Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?" Customer: "Of course I am. That's why I bought it." Tech Support: "Sir, do you know what Monte-Carlo analysis does?" Customer: "Don't get rude with me, of course I do." Tech Support: "Put briefly, sir, it runs through your project several times, throwing random delays in, and at the end it averages out the results." Customer: "I know all that -- what I want to know is why it keeps giving me different answers every time I run it."

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark!

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What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

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Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?" "Because they are drawing-rooms, my son."

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Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

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What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !

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A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?' The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates. The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

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What's the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through a magnifying glass.

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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

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What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter? Best vicious . . .

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The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an usher, was having a great time with other members of the wedding party. His wife, Betty was not. "Don't be to mad at Dave," a friend told her. "He did a terrific job. I'd be glad to have him usher at my wedding." "Yeah," Betty replied, "I wish he had been an usher at mine."

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"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

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Fred: I've added these figures ten times. Teacher: Good work! Fred: And here are my ten answers !

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