Khmer Magazines 2017



Would you like something from my Easter basket? "Sure!" "Here. Have some plastic grass."

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Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

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WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?

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Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!

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Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ? So he could tell the time at night !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Avery ! Avery who ? Avery time I come to your house we go through this !

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure who ? Closure mouth when you eat !

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What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ? Stop crying and viper your nose !

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Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin.

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Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian companion? Tanto

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Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"? Short John Silver!

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What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!

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Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

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Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse, Bill Clinton.

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Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.

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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river and smoke dope. A crocodile comes out of the river: - Hey pals, let me have a whiff. - Get lost, oh green one! - Come on guys, just one! - Go %@~# yourself! So what would you do? Well, the crocodile swallows Piglet and sits in his place. Winnie, inhaling, is holding the butt out to Piglet and suddenly sees a crocodile. - W-ell, it seems enough for you, pig!

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The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure? Doctor: Yes, that is true. P: And, is it true that coffee increases blood pressure? D: Yes, that is also true. P: So, in average, I live normally.

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Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !

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A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. 'I'm sorry, sir,' said a cashier, 'the loan arranger is out to lunch.' 'Can I speak to Tonto, then?' asked the man.

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Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

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Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. 'Darling!' he blurted out, 'will you marry me?' 'Of course, I will, you silly boy,' she replied, 'who is it speaking?'

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Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"

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yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!

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Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW. To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did y ou cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation. A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"

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