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Dentist jokes

A patient came to
his dentist with problems
with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I
do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

 

Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? A: Down in the mouth!

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Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

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What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails? Snout about!

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The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopoed beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog. "You mean the one following your car?" they asked.

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How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ice cream !

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Bill:"My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."? Bert:"Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.."

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What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!

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Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill the pool with -- fresh water or sea water? The cruise director answered, "Sea water." "Oh, that explains why it's so rough today."

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What does a spider do when he gets angry ? He goes up the wall !

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What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still.

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Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?

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Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him

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Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.

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Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

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Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. "What's that for?" she asked. "To make me beautiful," came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. "Doesn't work, does it?" was her comment.

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A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine--except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!

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Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

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What's the most popular wine at Christmas? "I don't like sprouts!"

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Q. What is good for your soul but not your soles? A. Linedancing!

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Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double. Please sit on the couch. Which one!

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