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Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change !

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What do you call a pen with no hair ? A bald point !

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Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ? Because there were so many knights !

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St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids." "Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates." A few moments later a second man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers." "Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise." A few moments later a third man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a Military Policeman, Sir." "Excellent my son, I have to leave for a bit, watch the gate will you?"

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ? Butcher your arms around me !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Coda ! Coda who ? Coda paint !

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Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment? A mental hospital.

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What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat? A bigger target.

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Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? A: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

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Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

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There was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed at the size of her hotel and her suite. She went into the huge cafe and said to the waitress, who took her order for a cup of coffee, that she had never before seen anything as big as the hotel or her suite. "Everything's big in Texas ma'am," said the waitress. The coffee came in the biggest cup the old lady had ever seen. "I told you, ma'am, that everything is big in Texas," said the waitress. On her way back to her suite, the old lady got lost in the vast corridors. She opened the door of a darkened room and fell into an enormous swimming pool. "Please!" she screamed. "Don't flush it!"

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Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

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Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

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At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back the male doctor says, "I bet you are a surgeon". She confirms and asks how he knew. "Easy, you're always washing your hands." She then says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist." Male doctor: "Wow, how did you guess?" Female doctor: "I didn't feel a thing."

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Courtney Pine ! Courtney Pine who ? Courtney Pine tables, I need a new one !

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What do rodents say when they play bingo ? 'Eyes down for a full mouse' !

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A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."

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Waiter, there's a fly in my soup ! Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them !

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