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Dentist jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary
out?...He was
already taking out a tooth

 

What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter? One to three for breaking and entering.

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Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.

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Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races. So they called it Running Dummy.

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Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker. "Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?" "Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him." "How come you got the cotton in your ears?" "Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"

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Why is a cat like a penny? Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

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QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.

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How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm? He has a flashing light.

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How do snowmen read their e-mails? With an icy-stare!

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What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold? Coffin medicine.

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Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.

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Q: What's the definition of a teenager? A: God's punishment for enjoying sex.

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How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

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What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo.

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Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

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What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? "Mmm. Canapes."

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A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer. Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?". Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air". Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test". Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death". Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line". Man: "Can't do that either". Officer: "Why not?". Man: "Because I'm dead drunk".

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What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.

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An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

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What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ? A fangfurter !sna

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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