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Dentist jokes

Anyone know the six most frightening words in

the world ??? "The Dentist will see you now."

 

Q: How is a penis like fishing? A: The small ones you throw back, the medium ones you eat, and the larger ones you mount.

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What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !!

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What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!

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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Cook ! Cook who ? Cuckoo yourself, I don't come here to be insulted !

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Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?

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Where is the most open green space in New York City? Central Pork

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- Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spotted hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money? - ??? - Stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist.

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What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food!

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That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.

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yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.

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Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

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Jack: "My brother was sick and went to the doctor." John: "Is he feeling better now?" Jack: "No, he has a broken arm." John: "How did he break it?" Jack: "Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter what happened, to follow that prescription. And the prescription blew out of the window." John: "How did he break his arm?" Jack: "He fell out of the window trying to follow the prescription."

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First monster: I have a hunch. Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape.

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When should a mouse carry an umbrella ? When it's raining cats and dogs !

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Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.

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A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding??? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.

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A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. "Now, if you will come with me, I will show you your eternal dwellings," said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his house would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on to a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to St. Peter, "Just a minute! That other guy was a lawyer and he gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I g et?" St. Peter looked at the Pope and said "True, you have done great things. But we have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the first lawyer ever to make it up here."

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What's the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat !

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