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Dentist jokes

Patient:Do you extract teeth
painlessly?
Dentis: "Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
wrist

 

Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

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At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back the male doctor says, "I bet you are a surgeon". She confirms and asks how he knew. "Easy, you're always washing your hands." She then says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist." Male doctor: "Wow, how did you guess?" Female doctor: "I didn't feel a thing."

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Courtney Pine ! Courtney Pine who ? Courtney Pine tables, I need a new one !

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What do rodents say when they play bingo ? 'Eyes down for a full mouse' !

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A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."

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Waiter, there's a fly in my soup ! Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them !

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Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

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Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

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Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they would look silly carrying suitcases !

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What do you call an amorous insect? The love bug.

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What kind of wig can hear ? An earwig !

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A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children. The reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you repeat that?" "Not if I can help it," replied the woman.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Beaver E ! Beaver E who ? Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us !

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Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'

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Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper. 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'

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What's a rabbits' favorite dance? The bunny hop.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.

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Yo mamma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

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