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Dentist jokes

Patient:Do you extract teeth
painlessly?
Dentis: "Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
wrist

 

One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

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What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

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How do wasps send messages? By bee-mail.

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What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !

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Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King.

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Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar.

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Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

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What did the snowman order at MacDonalds ? Icerbergers with chilli sauce !

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What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

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When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !

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Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Amaso ! Amaso who ? Amaso sorry you don't remember me !

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Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute. - Is it mandatory to wear it? - Sure. It's raining outside.

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A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it." "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my final position, and I will not compromise!"

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What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead.

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Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

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What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

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Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

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What do you call an Internet mystery? An e-nigma.

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