Dirty jokes

Q: What is the difference between
medium and
rare?
A: 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

 

Q: What do you call two blondes in a canoe? A: Fur traders.

Read more!

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam." Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?" In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

Read more!

How many bees do you need in a bee choir ? A humdred !

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Ada ! Ada who ? Ada'mond is forever !

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Buddha ! Buddha who ? Buddha this slice of bread for me !

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cameron ! Cameron who ? Cameron film are needed to take pictures !

Read more!

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head? A penny.

Read more!

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd----no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: "Under the B, 4. Under the I, 19. Under the N, 38. Under the G, 54. Under th e O, 72. . ."

Read more!

What is a snowman's favorite book ? War and Frozen Peas !

Read more!

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Read more!

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard? It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

Read more!

He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!

Read more!

What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !

Read more!

What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.

Read more!

What letter is like a vegetable? The letter P.

Read more!

Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.

Read more!

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

Read more!

Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

Read more!

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !

Read more!

What happens when sharks take their clothes off ? They go sharkers !

Read more!