Dirty jokes

Q: What is the difference between
medium and
rare?
A: 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

 

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

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What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments? Labs!

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What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails? Best viscious.

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Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor 'what did you do on Earth?' The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor, 'you may go in.' St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her 'you may go in.' St. Peter asked the third man, 'what did you do?' The man hung his head and replied, 'I ran a large HMO.' To which St. Peter replied, 'you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.'

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Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !

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When is a parent like a child? When he's a miner.

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Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. "I'm sorry, sister," said the attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car. As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."

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Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

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Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both substitute meats.

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How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ? Take all the matches out first !

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Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.

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Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ? A. FireWeb .... of course!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who ? Bunny thing is, I've forgotten now !kn

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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!

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What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy? Smelly beans!

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Boy: You've got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !

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How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

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What kind of hair do oceans have ? Wavy !

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