Frog jokes

Whats green and goes round and
round at 100
miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !

 

Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor 'what did you do on Earth?' The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor, 'you may go in.' St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her 'you may go in.' St. Peter asked the third man, 'what did you do?' The man hung his head and replied, 'I ran a large HMO.' To which St. Peter replied, 'you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.'

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Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !

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When is a parent like a child? When he's a miner.

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Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. "I'm sorry, sister," said the attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car. As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."

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Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who ? Bunny thing is, I've forgotten now !kn

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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!

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How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

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What kind of hair do oceans have ? Wavy !

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Do you like web jokes? Yes - they're e-larious!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You should take your workboots off before you jump on a trampoline.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"

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What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!

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Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

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How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. "You're welcome. "

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Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go to? A: Heck

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What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!

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Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two - one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets. A: One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.

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How can you spell chilly with two letters? IC (icy) .

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