Please bookmark this www.freekhmermag.com for next visit.

Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

A little boy walked
down the
aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would
take
two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between

the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would

put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step,
ROAR,
step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
As you can
imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by
the time he
reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and
more distressed from all
the laughing, and he was near tears by the
time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed back his tears and
said, "I was being the ring bear."

 

What happens when ducks fly upside down ? They quack up !

Read more!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!

Read more!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Read more!

What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars don't knock !

Read more!

What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !

Read more!

Why is a frog luckier than a cat ? Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !

Read more!

What lives in gum trees ? Stick insects !

Read more!

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench.

Read more!

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

Read more!

Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ? They couldn't, they were adders !

Read more!

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake.

Read more!

How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

Read more!

Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"

Read more!

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Read more!

Which meatballs get a little tipsy on occasion? The POTTED ones!

Read more!

Why aren't burgers too good at basketball? Too many turnovers!

Read more!

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo-keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cag e next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zoo-keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!" but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, " Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

Read more!

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?" "Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped , "No! We think you are trying to escape!"

Read more!

Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, that's a lot of calories !

Read more!