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Snowman jokes

What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers
!

 

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

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What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I'll get you next slime!

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Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: only the inner light matters.

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In Alaska's National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: "Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic." To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. "Also," he said further, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings." One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?" "Oh that's easy," the guide explained, "its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!"

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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Which insect didn't play well in goal ? The fumble bee !

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A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

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Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !

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yo mama so fat that when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out cab!

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A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies ?" "Well, I liked the book!"

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Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!

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An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?" "How would you feel," the astronout replied, "if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"

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Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning

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What kind of noise annoys an oyster ? A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)

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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top. How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter." The official just stared. The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!" The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback. The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"

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What do astronauts wear to bed? Space Jammies!

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Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night.

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Can you spell a composition with two letters? SA (essay).

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Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink!

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