Snowman jokes

Where do snowmen put their webpages?
On the
winternet.

 

What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !

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Why do raindrops like lightning at night? -So they can see where they are going

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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

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Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the "pouring rain." Well , atleast the dew point is coming down!

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Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!!

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What do astronauts wear to bed? Space Jammies!

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Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose.

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The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

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Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.

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Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth

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Waiter, your tie is in my soup! That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.

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Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

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What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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Spell electricity with three letters. NRG (energy).

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Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup. Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.

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Customer: Waiter, I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork.

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What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ? A chameleon on a tartan rug !

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What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.

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A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."

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