Snowman jokes

Where do snowmen put their webpages?
On the
winternet.

 

What did the astronaut see on his skillet? Unidentified frying (flying) objects.

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Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

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A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist. "As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient. "And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist. "Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."

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A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat" "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

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A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant, "Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare's birthplace?" "Ay, straight on, sir," said the rustic, "but no need to hurry. He's dead."

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First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

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Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

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Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

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Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!

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What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!

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Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

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How can you spell chilly with two letters? IC (icy) .

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What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!

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What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !

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What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really!

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Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

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What is the witches motto ? We came, we saw, we conjured !

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Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why, are you thirsty? Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

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What is the most popular sport played by raindrops and hail stones? -Diving

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A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

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