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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

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When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !

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What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead.

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Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

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Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup. Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites !

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Why do bears have fur coats ? Because they'd look stupid in anoraks !

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What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d

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Waiter, are there snails on the menu ! Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !

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Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

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What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.

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Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.

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What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed.

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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

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Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

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Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!

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A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies ?" "Well, I liked the book!"

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yo mama is so fat you could use her belly button as a wishing well...

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What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!

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Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.

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