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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake.

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"

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Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

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What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I'll get you next slime!

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Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: only the inner light matters.

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In Alaska's National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: "Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic." To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. "Also," he said further, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings." One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?" "Oh that's easy," the guide explained, "its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!"

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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Which insect didn't play well in goal ? The fumble bee !

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A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

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Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !

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yo mama so fat that when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out cab!

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A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies ?" "Well, I liked the book!"

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Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!

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Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning

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What kind of noise annoys an oyster ? A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)

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Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night.

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Can you spell a composition with two letters? SA (essay).

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Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink!

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