Travel and tourist jokes

Police Officer: Why did you lead me

on a five-state chase?
Driver: I love to travel.

 

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!

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Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Er, two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts, make that two. Is that okay with you?

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Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

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Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

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How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce

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Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.

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Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?

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Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

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Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why, are you thirsty? Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

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Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?

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My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"

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Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials? Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

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How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs

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If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.

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Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

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Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

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Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!

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Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Taureans don't like to change anything.

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Yo Mama is so fat, she had to be baptized at Sea world. (Lionheartyz)

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