Travel and tourist jokes

Police Officer: Why did you lead me

on a five-state chase?
Driver: I love to travel.

 

What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn

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yo mama so fat, when she dive into the ocean, there is a tsunami warning out!!

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Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

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You mama's so skinny ....she can hang glide with a dorito!

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There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

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Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs

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your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.

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Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

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yo mama so stupid..she sits on the t.v and watches the couch

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yo mama so nasty... cows with mad cow disease run from her..

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I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?

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Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

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Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup ! Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !

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It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.

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Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.

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Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

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Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ! Hold on sir, I'll get the fly spray !

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Yo Mama's so fat that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in."

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A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are you mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

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Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

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