Travel and tourist jokes

Police Officer: Why did you lead me

on a five-state chase?
Driver: I love to travel.

 

How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

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yo mama so stupid..she sits on the t.v and watches the couch

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OUESTION: What is cosmetics? ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

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How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!

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Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!

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If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.

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At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle!"

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Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"

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yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!

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When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !

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Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!

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Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

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How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs

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Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

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Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.

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What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !

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Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

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