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Waiter jokes

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I
ordered?
Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

 

Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

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Waiter, are there snails on the menu ! Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !

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Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

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Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

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Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!

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yo mama is so fat you could use her belly button as a wishing well...

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Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.

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In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You are really blowing a lot of hot air

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I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?

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Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!!

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Yo Mama is so fat...when she took her shirt off at the strip club,everyone thought she was Jabba The Hut from Star Wars

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What did the young witch say to her mother? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

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Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

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QUESTION: What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman? ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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Waiter, there is a frog in my soup ! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !

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YO MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN YOU GO AROUND HER YOU GET LOST!

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Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

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Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time, he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer and slenderizes your hips." Just then, a voice from the dressing room piped up. "If there's a dress here that will do all that- I'll take ten!"

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yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

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