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Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

 

Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?

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yo mama aint got no ears hollin bout let me hear both sides of da story!

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise.

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Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

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Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"

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Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

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Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: only the inner light matters.

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Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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yo mama so fat that when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out cab!

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Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!

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Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? -To make heat lightning

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Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

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Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.

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Yo mama's so fat, when she was in school she sat next to everybody!

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Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily

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Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

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Witch l: "How do you manage to stay in shape?" Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

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