Weather jokes

If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who

is most likely to get hit by lightning?
The conductor.

 

What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !

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Why do raindrops like lightning at night? -So they can see where they are going

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Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the "pouring rain." Well , atleast the dew point is coming down!

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Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!!

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Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth

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Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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Yo mama is so fat that when she went bunggie jumping in a yellow dress, everyone was screaming the suns falling!

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Yo mama so fat when God said, "Let there be light" he he to ask her to move out of the way.

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Yo mama is so fat that she needs a book mark to keep track of all her chin rolls!

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Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!

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Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

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Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

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Witch l: "How do you manage to stay in shape?" Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

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How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ? She has a big "W" embroidered on her pyjamas !

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom? A: By witchful thinking.

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yo mama so fat when she get on da elevator it says next stop hell

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Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!

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Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

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